a third trimester pregnancy update and q&a

i thought it was time to do a little pregnancy update — i haven’t written that much here about it and i thought i should before i’m no longer pregnant!

the pregnancy overall has been relatively painless, i never had morning sickness but i did throw up a single french fry in the first trimester lol. now that i’m in the third trimester, i’m definitely getting less and less comfortable — lower back aches, i’m starting to sleep worse, and i was diagnosed with gestational diabetes so that has been a pain but i’m managing (also going to do a post entirely on GD).

we’re working on the nursery now and i can’t believe we only have about 5 weeks left!

names you like that you won’t be using?

i love the name joni!! for a long time that was always my girl name, but then i forgot about that and named arlo arlo– and realized arlo and joni is a little too spot on 70s singer songwriter together haha. some other names i like for both boys and girls: felix, woody, sonny, penny, chloe, goldie, rocky, charlie, hazel, jolie, rudy, louie, sandy. wow can you tell i like names that end with Y sounds?!

what will you put in your hospital bag?

last time i used a lot of what the hospital provided, but i think this time i’m going to bring more of my own softer, nicer items for the both of us. i think i’ll do a dedicated post to this too!

for baby : swaddles, a cute going home outfit, maybe a portable a sound machine
for me : a pillow, a blanket, comfy pajamas / robe, compression socks, long phone charger, soft toilet paper lol, toiletries

how are you feeling, emotionally and physically?

emotionally i have been surprisingly good! i haven’t had a ton of mood swings over the past few months and that really does surprise me lol. physically, i’m getting pretty uncomfortable! it’s SO hot every single day and my lower back hurts and it takes a lot of energy to toss and turn at night in bed. but i’m doing ok!

how did you decide to do cs vs vbac?

i struggled with this decision for a bit– i think there’s a lot of mom shame associated with scheduled c-sections and imo, all women who have them experience a tiny bit of judgement from other people. even when it’s not intentional i think it’s still there. or maybe its just in the moms own heads, who knows.

just like when people refer to vaginal as “natural”, and i get it, women who birth their babies vaginally experience something really beautiful and empowering, of course, but i think sometimes c-section moms experience a little bit of subconscious shaming about it, which is sad. but i’m fine, and everyone has a different journey and something they feel their own mom shame about.

i have friends who had trouble with nursing and experienced a lot of shame in their own heads– we as moms are just so great at shaming ourselves and feeling guilty when we shouldn’t!

would love to hear if other c-section moms have experienced this?

what feels different in your second pregnancy than the first for you?

while the anxiety is still there of how big a life change this will be, i think it’s a little less daunting because i’m already a mom. although the transition from 1 to 2 is SCAAARY!

we’re using mosie, any tips?

just like all conceiving, try to be relaxed. i didn’t put a ton of pressure on myself for any attempt, i just relaxed and watched tv and hoped for the best. but mosie is super amazing with customer service if you want to talk to someone there! and here’s my post if you want to read about our experience with mosie baby.

can you talk about the psychic?

it’s still very crazy when i think about how accurately she predicted things — i don’t recommend you go and make plans according to what a psychic says but hey it can’t hurt lol.

and in case you missed it, a psychic not only predicted i was going to miscarry when i did miscarry, she also predicted i wouldn’t need IVF and that i would get pregnant with a girl right around when i did.

will you be taking time off instagram?

i’m not sure yet! i’ll probably take at least a few days off and i’m not sure i’m going to be taking a proper maternity leave either. like i always say, my job is very weird so i’m just going to feel it out one week at a time or so and see how it feels.

can you share your fave things you’ve been wearing?

01. biker shorts and a tank
02. cotton bodycon dresses
03. easy loose jumpsuits
04. cute pajama sets
05. my dress for any fancier occasion that still fits!

do you have a lot of stuff from arlo you’re planning to reuse?

we’re going to reuse our snoo, but this time i think we’re going to try to turn it on less if she sleeps well. we learned how reliant arlo became on it and it would be nice to have her sleep without that crutch that we’ll have to wean her off of if possible!!

also our baby bouncer, bath tub support and we got a new high chair for the dining room but we’re going to use our old one outside since we eat dinner out there so much.

gear you’re buying/upgrading for baby #2?

i did get rid of a lot of stuff over the years– so we need a newborn stroller and a new carrier. how about i do a registry post if i can get it together?!

did you have any idea you’d have gestational diabetes?

nope, i was pretty confident i’d pass the three hour test because i did with arlo. fyi, my doctor said there’s no way to prevent it or predict it! i will ALSO be doing a post on the GD!

how different are your symptoms than your first pregnancy?

totally different!

the weirdest one i have is i feel hungry whenever i’m lying on my left side! haha so strange.

i haven’t experienced a lot of morning sickness or nausea luckily, but i did have a gnarly smell aversion in the first trimester. i thought our house reeked many times like hamster, feet, etc haha.

and oh one night i threw up a single french fry !!

fortunately though, i’ve been very lucky to have a pretty easy pregnancy over all.

how do you plan to adjust to two kids?

we have no plan– just gonna see how it goes! we are obviously terrified. but i’m optimistic that arlo will be super helpful and loving towards her, he’s been so amazing and so excited but i know once she’s here taking attention away that might take some adjusting to for him.

from what i’ve heard from friends who have 2, it’s really important for us to prioritize spending one on one time with arlo too so i plan to do that as much as possible.

what are you doing to prep arlo for the big change?

we could probably be doing more, but we talk about her a lot and really get him amped up about how obsessed with him she’s going to be haha. this week he’s been asking constantly how many years i’ve been pregnant for lol and how many days till she’s here. we said 40 and he’s like THATS SO MANY and i’m like no dude it’s really not!!!

i asked him if he wanted to get a big brother t-shirt and he said no, but we are going to get him a big present from her and have him pick out a stuffy for her from him.

we’ve also been trying to encourage him to have some more independence with chores, taking care of himself, etc. he’s not the most independent kid soooo we’ll see how that goes… !!

fave and least fave things about being pregnant?

my favorite thing was getting to eat whatever but now that i have GD that hasn’t been as fun haha. i guess now it would just be that i have an excuse not to do stuff haha.

least is just being generally uncomfortable and huge i guess!

are you getting a postpartum doula / night nurse this time? did you with arlo?

we aren’t — we actually almost did, but then gid got laid off a few weeks ago and we decided we could go without. it’s super expensive, but we were hoping to have some help a couple weeks in, but now that gid doesn’t have to wake up for work things might be much easier.

we did get gifted a night nurse with arlo for 2 weeks and ended up thinking it wasn’t super helpful, she helped me with breastfeeding and pumping but arlo was sleeping a lot in those early days and she was also just asleep so we’re like why do we need her?? so i’m hopeful she’ll be a sleepy baby and we can handle this on our own!!

what’s your advice for couples considering starting a family?

you’ll never feel 100% ready to give up your entire life and independence and all spontaneity– but you’ll never feel love like you do from watching these little tiny people grow up either!!

how many items of clothing is needed for newborn and 0-3?

so i didn’t get much NB whatsoever because arlo was such a large baby he was really never even in NB sized diapers for more than a few hours haha. 0-3 seems much more useful to me, but even then it seems so fleeting so i ended up getting wayyy too many 3-6 instead. i’m no expert but google told me around 10 onesies/kimonos and sleepers.

we didn’t put arlo in clothes often when he was tiny because it was summer and he was always pooping so he was mostly in a diaper and a swaddle, but it will be october so i’m HOPEFUL that means a tiny bit colder.

tips for managing worry while pregnant with rainbow baby?

for those first few months, you really can’t help but be fearful and anxious. i checked my underwear for blood every time i peed for a long time.

even now, i still have fears about the worst outcomes, but i try to quickly acknowledge them and then push them down and remind myself how many healthy babies are born a day and to be optimistic– remind myself that the anxiety does nothing to actually prepare you anyway.

it’s all very scary and out of your control and you just gotta hope for the best at all times.

best advice for going through pregnancy after loss?

first off, let yourself heal emotionally and physically before trying again.

i know that even just one month feels like eternity when you’re TTC, but i wish i had rushed into trying less often– the second miscarriage could have been a result of my impatience when i should have done a saline ultrasound instead to get to the root of my problems. i had three pregnancies in such a short amount of time and my poor body went through so much.

be gentle on yourself, let yourself feel whatever you want to feel — your nerves and your pessimism might get in the way, but just try to find the joy as often as you can.

when did you start to feel excited again instead of anxious/nervous after your loss?

it took a while, but probably finding out her sex was around the time we felt like this time was for real. i was very jaded after hearing the heartbeat from my miscarriage prior and then losing the baby so i had to take some extra time to get there.

how is the nursery coming along?

it’s looking so cute and it brings me so much joy. i’ve just been sitting in there at night looking around. there are still some more items coming slowly and no art on the walls yet but i can’t wait to show you soon!

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  1. claire le says:

    im so excited for you!!! wishing you the safest and least uncomfortable third trimester possible xx

  2. Thank you for sharing–your posts on what loss is like have always helped me process my own.