yada yada

today’s my birthday.

07.23.13

i’m 28 today. for older people that doesn’t sound so bad, for younger people that sounds kind of old, and for me ( and others my age ) that sounds really close to 30. like reaaally close.

i’m definitely not where i want to be at 30, so i have some work to do. and i’m REALLY far from where i thought i’d be at 28 when i was a kid. for some reason i feel like the older i get, the less i’m caring about the future. that’s bad. maybe turning 28 is the time when you really start reflecting on what you’ve done, what you want to do, and what you’re going to stop talking about doing and actually start doing. which is the hard part for me. i am obsessed with fantasizing about new career paths and then moving onto something else. maybe it’s just that when i was in my early 20s, i was content. and now that i’ve aged – forever sounds intense.

career wise – when i graduated college, i thought i’d be happy doing motion graphics full time. since then, my career has organically changed and i edit and do graphic design as well. but sometimes i want to design cards. and sometimes i want to own a sandwich shop. and sometimes i want to live in france and do pottery. i am really terrible at being happy sitting at a desk in an office all day. i can do it – but that’s just not what i want for my life. hence wanting to be a housewife. staying home raising kids and fixing up the house and baking cookies and planning their birthday parties and designing the invitations. maybe i should be ashamed of that, but i’m not. and i like blogging the most. so my goal is to blog full time. it probably won’t happen anytime soon, but if i focus on making it real, hopefully it can be.

personal wise – i worry a lot less about what people think of me than i did when i was younger. and that’s a nice feeling. now i just get to worry about what i think. i’m still waiting for that point in your life when you finally accept the way i look. i’ve heard that happens… when? and generally i’d like to be less self-critical. when i turn 30, i’d like to stop gossiping and i’d like to be happy with what i have. that seems like it’s hard for a lot of people. especially now with pinterest.

shallow wise – i want the following stuff for mah birthday.

 

one momofuku cake (i’m attempting this myself someday, but won’t someone make me one?!)
two the madewell transport tote is basically the perfect bag.
three i’m in love with this gemz print. in LOVE.
four really wanting a white butterfly chair at the moment. and the cats would love it too.
five i’d love to collect some unique stacking rings to wear with my simple ones.

( top photo )  

+ are you over 30? under 30? do you have the same concerns… and does it get better / clearer?

5 comments on “today’s my birthday.”

  1. happy birthday!so if it makes you feel better I was stuck behind a computer desk doing graphic design at 28 and had a mixture of hopes and dreams that seemed all contradictory as well… the angst i felt about it all was self imposed. im definitely pretty demanding of myself and i can see how you might expect a lot from yourself also! im now in my mid thirties (gasp) and don’t have a clear carrer path even now! but i do have a nice mix of raising kids, browsing blogs, doing some art, even doing some design work and somehow i get to design cards and plan birthday parties all things that i wanted to do too. so, as a note of encouragement, just keep moving forward doing the things you love and somehow you will find yourself in a wonderful mix of life even if its not one specfic role. you are a beautiful person with a wide spectrum of talent… keep blogging!

  2. Happy Birthday! I just turned 28 as well and feel the same way. When I was younger I thought I’d be married by 28 and with kids by 30. I don’t think I’m anywhere near either but that’s ok – there’s still plenty of time. 28 is still young. I do need to get out of my boring desk job asap. Feel free to trade places with me anytime. :) P.S. I came across your blog through your recent craftgawker submission and am loving it all. You SHOULD blog full-time!

  3. Happy birthday!! Love the balloon photo, by the way. I completely relate to how you’re feeling–I’m turning 29 in November (egads) and I definitely feel like I haven’t “progressed” any since I was 22. Thank you for baring your soul in such a thoughtful piece. We (meaning all of us almost 30 year olds) will get where we want to go I’m sure.

  4. Molly Madfis your post was truly honest and I applaud you for that. Thinking about the future can be daunting when you have no idea which path you want to take. Tho it seems clear to me that you nailed it in the last paragraph. I hope that you realize that 28 is not 30. You have two more years to score what life you want by 30. No matter, you are truly a fabulous girl at this age. Beautiful, talented, loyal, thoughtful, sensitive, and extremely loving to friends and family. You come off great upon first meet, and even greater when they really know what great stuff you are made of. I am so proud of you and I think that the older you get, the more you seem to be following in a similar path to me. go figure. hugs and love from the mama that birthed you and continues to be your Touchstone. MOMMY

  5. Wanting to be a housewife is nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve always loved that your tagline is “aspiring housewife.” :). I’m over 30 and still figuring it out but am completely content in doing so. It’s about the journey. :). I blog as my full time job and make absolutely no money doing so but it still fulfills me completely. Well that and my marriage and my relationships with family and friends. I have no idea where I’ll be at 40, but I’m sure having fun getting there! :). Happy birthday, Molly. Oh and watch “13 Going On 30” – it’s a great movie about being that age.

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